WOULDN'T STOP IF I COULD...

WOULDN'T STOP IF I COULD...

Personal Jesus

[ website | myspace ]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]

[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

when the dreariness of yesterday carries over into today [19 Feb 2005|01:12pm]

[ mood | bored ]

[ music | finding out true love is blind- Louis XIV ]

Well last nights boringness carried over into today. I wish i had something to do, but i don't. I was suppose to hang out with one of my friends today, but she cancelled. :(
I'm just sitting here listening to music and being bored. i want to do something, but there's never anything to do. My boyfriend is at his friends house right now. he spent the night there last night. it was the first time we've spent a night apart since like last november. i couldn't sleep very well because of it.
i woke up in a shitty mood. tired, uncomfortable and bored.
well i've got the job officially. i'm just waiting to get my schedule. i can't wait to get my first paycheck. i'm going to shop. sHoP. SHOP!!!
Agh... i'm so bored. no one to chat with... no one to hang out with. i could go and hang out with my boyfriend and his friends, but i've decided against it... i'm tired of them!!!
to much of some people in life threatening .LOL
Well everything is boring me right now, so i'm going to go do something.
peace out.

babbling idiots

Cold, Cold days aren't fun at all. [07 Feb 2005|06:23pm]

[ mood | cheerful ]

[ music | the helio sequence - blood bleeds ]

I'm so fucking tired right now.

Today I went out to that place once again and the manager still wasn't there. She just left them a message saying she was going to call me. At least this time she actually called. I talked to her and she told me she'd call me tomorrow, so I could meet her at another location to drug test and get my uniform. Delays, delays... delays. I'm tired of all these delays!!! I just want to start working soon. Well at least I know that at the end of all this mess I'll have a job.

I am so bored right now, more tired, but somewhat bored. Today was a very boring day. My batteries running out after the first song I listened to didn't help much. Actually it ruined my morning, but that's okay... I'm in a good mood now.

Valentines day is next week. I usually don't care about valentines day, but this year it's different. i'm actually with someone I really care about and I just want to do something special with him. I just think I'd be cool... to go on an actually date. I've never been on an actual date with anyone before. I want to get all dolled up and go out. I wish we were old enough to go out dancing, but we're not. Dinner is fine though. I think I'd be fun.

1 babbling idiots

[12 Jan 2005|12:46pm]

[ mood | bored ]

well i'm sitting here at the library bored as hell. you can't imagine how bored i am. try and try and then try again, but you will not succeed. it's nearly impossible for me to convey the boredom i'm expieriencing right now.

anyways... i'm hanging with tim. doing stuff. not much of anything... just stuff. if i were doing this stuff with anyone else it wouldn't be quite as fun, so thank god for good boyfriends.

i don't know what to talk about. HMMM??? oh if you're on myspace join my damn group. it'll make you a lot cooler... it really will. Join BITCHES Join!!! you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

well now i'm talking out of my ass, so i'm going to stop this entry right.......NOW.

1 babbling idiots

KISS ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS... BUT ONLY AFTER YOU PUT A HOLE IN THEIR HEAD [11 Jan 2005|01:12pm]

[ mood | bored ]

[ music | THE LIBERTINES____ can't stand me now ]

i haven't updated in awhile,so i thought i should... and so i am.

i am so bored right now. timmy's still sleeping...dammit!!! i hope he wakes up soon.

my birthday is in two weeks. i'm soooooo happy. SEVENTEEN... it's about damn time. i'm just about an adult. HOORAY!!! i don't know what to talk about.... UMM.. oh i just made an AIM NAME... it's xSatanicxPanicx. so add me and hit me up sometime.

ok... now i'm done.

babbling idiots

SEX HAS COME BACK TO THE MAINSTREAM [15 Nov 2004|12:35pm]

[ mood | cheerful ]

[ music | the thrills big sur ]

There was a time when i was so anti-penetration that i use to preach my anti-sex antics to others nonstop. Now i'm all for it. I've found someone who i love very deeply. Someone that i don't mne pleasing on a regular basis. I am happy that i've found evrything i need in one person. He's absolutely wonderful. I can't imagine being with anyone else. He's so good. LOL!!! I shouldn't be talking about this on my livejournal, but i don't really care. Sex is great. That is if you're with the right person. As long as you're doing it for the right reason... LOVE ... then it's okay. When you're both wiling to use every last bit of energy you have in yourself to please you partner because you want them to reach their peak of pleasure... then you know you've got something special. It's either that or you've got a showoff on your hands.LOL. Anyways I'd just like to say that i'm not anti-sex anymore... and it feels so intensely good!!!

babbling idiots

LOVE IS IN THE AIR [12 Nov 2004|02:40pm]

[ mood | anxious ]

[ music | the shins ]

I've been through more ups and downs than i thought was humanly possible this year. I don't think i would've gotten through the last flood of them without my wonderfully understanding boyfriend. I love him so much. I don't think anyone could cope with all my baggage. I'm so glad that i've found someone that i don't have any doubts about being with. I definately want to be with him for the rest of my life. He's so perfect. I should worry about other girls wanting him, but i don't because i know his loyalty is just as strong as mine. He's the most beautiful person you could ever meet. I just wish i could show him just how much i truely care.

2 babbling idiots

[29 Oct 2004|01:56pm]

[ mood | calm ]

[ music | Of Montreal Disconnect the Dots ]

Well today i get to timmy, my boyfriend, i can't wait. He's going to VAPAC today to see if he can get in. I hope he does. This song i'm listening to right now totally rocks my fucking socks!!! Anyways I have no idea what i'm doing Halloween. I'll probally end up drinking with tim. I just want to have some carefree fun for a change.

4 babbling idiots

LIFE IS A BIG COMPETITION... KILL WHILE YOU STILL CAN [12 Oct 2004|12:18pm]

[ mood | anxious ]

[ music | brian jonestown massacre ]

Well my life has been extremely hectic lately. All work and no play. Well the is unless i'm playing between the sheets with my boyfriend. Besides that i can't get no satisfaction. My social life has gone completely downhill. I miss smoking cigarettes with allie and talking shit about the people we don't like.
I miss getting drunk with a group of friends that don't care one way or another if everyone knows they're drunk. I miss drinking lattes until i feel like i'm going to puke. I miss talking to people. I've isolated myself in a bubble that only contains my boyfriend and me. Now it's time to pop the bubble and get out and have some fun.
All those down for a good time that includes cigarettes, alcohol and coffee... please post.

4 babbling idiots

... and she walked down into the sunset never to be seen again. [08 Jul 2004|05:46pm]

[ mood | calm ]

Where have I been???
To be honest I don't really know.
If I did I would tell those of you who have been looking for me.
I am happy,
but i still enjoy crying.
I feel at peace in my surroundings,
so I haven't been too jumpy lately.
Those of you who miss me...
COMMENT.
and add my new friend... xiggystardustx

8 babbling idiots

I hate being happy and sad at the same time [21 Jun 2004|01:48pm]

[ mood | annoyed ]

[ music | the brian jonestown massacre ]

I am lonely. Oh so lonely. i wish he were here. I haven't seen him in like a week. Sometimes i wonder if he even cares... i bet he wonders about the same thing about me. Why am i so anxious. I'm acting as if he has plans to run away. He is the man they write about in fairytales... my prince charming. My muse. He's gives me more inspiration than anything else ever could. Just thought i'd share.

3 babbling idiots

POLITICAL BULLSHIT [19 Jun 2004|12:41pm]

[ mood | mellow ]

[ music | Auf De Maur ]

I've decided to start doing an anti-bush campaign. I'm going to make fliers and stuff. if anyone in interest in helping me with the design and passing them out to people PLEASE reply. We've all got to do our part to make sure that ASSHOLE doesn't serve another term in office.

7 babbling idiots

READ THIS YOU SHOULD BE WELL AWARE OF YOUR LACK OF KNOWLEDGE [15 Jun 2004|01:42pm]

[ mood | aggravated ]

[ music | WEEN PUSH THE LITTLE DAISYS ]

THIS IS GOING TO BE A PRETTY LONG ENTRY, BUT I DON'T CARE... THIS IS STUFF I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT.
FIRST, I'D LIKE TO DISCUSS SCENE SEGREGATION!!! I'D LIKE TO START MY RANT BY SAYING THAT I DON'T HATE PEOPLE WHO LABEL THEMSELVES, BUT THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE I DON'T HATE ANYBODY.
WHY DO LABEL LOVERS ANNOY ME SO GREATLY??? ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN IN A VERY LENGTHY AND DETAILED RESPONSE.
PUNKERS, EMO KIDDS, SCENESTERS... SO ON AN SO FORTH. NO MATTER WHAT YOU LABEL YOURSELF AS... I THINK YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT.WHY??? BECAUSE YOU'RE A HYPOCRITICAL FUCK. DON'T EVEN TRY TO CONVINCE YOURSELF THAT YOU'RE NOT. YOU ARE A COMPLETE FASCIST, AND POEPLE LIKE YOU MAKE ME WANT TO PUKE.
ANYBODY WHO LABELS THEMSELVES USUALLY DOES SO BASED ON THEIR MUSICAL PREFERENCE. BASED ON THAT FACT ALONE I BELIEVE THAT ALL LABEL LOVERS SHOULD GET ALONG. THEY SHARE A GREAT LOVE FOR MUSIC. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE TO SHARE A COLON WITH SOMEBODY TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEM. EVERYONE OF THESE PEOPLE SHOULD GET ALONG PERFECTLY, BUT THEY DON'T. WHY??? BECAUSE PEOPLE FEELS THE NEED TO BE SUPERIOR. THEY SEPARATE THEMSELVES INTO GROUPS SO THAT THEYCAN CONVINCE ON ANOTHER THAT THEY'RE BETTER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE.
WHY DO PEOPE FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE TO PROVE THEMSELVES. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE THAT THESE PEOPLE DON'T ACCEPT EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY LISTEN TO DIFFERENT MUSIC OR DRESS DIFFERENTLY.FOR ME MUSIC IS LIFE. MUSIC AMPLIFIES EMOTION. HOW CAN ONE TYPE OF MUSIC FULFILL YOU ALL THE TIME??? IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
ANYWAYS, LET ME WRAP THIS UP WITH MY VISION OF HOW THINGS SHOULD BE... WHEN SOMEONE MENTIONS SOMETHING YOU DON'T LIKE YOU SHOULD THINK," THAT'S GREAT THEY FOUND SOMETHING TO GROOVE TO." DON'T THINK," OH, GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE WEARING THAT. AND WHO LISTENS TO THAT SHIT."

11 babbling idiots

[09 Jun 2004|03:27pm]

[ music | the thrills ]

Well i got saturday and sunday off last weekend so i decided to blow my whole paycheck on crap. I have 10 bucks left so i'm just dreaming about my next paycheck. work is going good i guess. i just wish there were more cool people who worked with me.
I saw my baby on sunday. YAY!!! i must say that being with him made me happier than i've been in months. i wished he lived near me... or worked near me. i love him sooooooo much. it's hard to explain.
With my next check i'm buying a sewing machine, so i can make my own clothes. i can't wait!!! and i'm going to start saving for a new guitar. here is the stuff i'm going to blow my money on for the next three months... 4-track machine, synthesizer, drum machine, sewing machine, guitar, cds and the love of my life.
well anyways i have found new confidence in myself. it feels good. it's mostly due to my main squeeze. THANK YOU SWEETHEART. i also got a haircut. my hair is awesome now.
well i'm off to work now... so bye

6 babbling idiots

Ugly people make the world go round... who else is going to do all the manual labor??? [29 May 2004|03:35pm]

[ mood | aggravated ]

[ music | Metric ]

I am quite tired right now i've been working for the past four days straight. i'm off tomorrow, but i have to work on monday. the job sucks, but i'm getting paid so who cares.
Lately i've been becoming very aggravated with my surroundings. everyone at my house is so loud. i can't concentrate at all. i never get anything done. I start reading my books and the i guess everyone decides it's time to get drunk and rowdy. i sit down to write poetry and once i start everyone gets loud again. at that point i'm just mad so all i can write about is my sheer anger. Agh.
Anyways i've decided to have my party in the middle of june. that way everyone's out of school and free to get as drunk as possible.
Well my life is really boring right now so i really don't know why i'm trying to make an entry out of my pile of shit happenings. I'm really fucking tired so i'm gonna go lay down.

4 babbling idiots

LOOK THAT MONKEY HAS ON RED BOOTS... ewww [24 May 2004|04:49pm]

Well today i went to an interview. I think i got the job, but then again everyone thinks the same thing after they've had an interview. i hope i got it.
And i'm happy... he told me he cares!!!. i love him soooooooo much. I LOVE YOU BABY. he's the greatest. i'm going to try to transfer to his school so i can see hime more often. YAY.

P.S.
sorry i doubted your devotion sweetness.

Anyways ... who likes coffee, good music and shows???
if you like these things you are now quailified to hang out with me.
i wanna smoke cigarettes, drinks alcoholic beverages and laugh at the unsuspecting bistandard.

I'm thinking about throwing a motel party next month for the celebration of the beginning of summer. should i??? if so what should be the theme and whose company would i enjoy (who should i invite?)

Well that is the end of my entry... i'll try to post pix next time so you guys can see the awesome haircut i plan to get this weekend.

11 babbling idiots

SICK LOVE [13 May 2004|10:28am]

[ mood | confused ]

[ music | my bloody valentine ]

Well i've been staying home a lot due my being a sickly ass mother fucker, but other than that i'm fine. My mom has asked me if i could please not move out. It is only fair for me to consider staying at home, but most likely i will still move out this summer. I'd be nice to live at home until i'm 18, but i really like being alone. i'm not a weirdo i just like peace and quiet sometimes.
I've also come up with a list of things to do by the end of the year...
1). get my lip pierced
2). find some new friends... (excluding those of you i still talk to)
NOTE: well i don't really need new friends beacuse the ones i have kinda suk sometimes. i just need to find some people that i actually have things in common with. i would like to be able to go to parties and be able to honestly say i'm having fun.
3). figure out whether i'm going to go back to regular school or stay at capital city.
4). start going to more shows
NOTE: who would like to go to some shows with me... ???
Anyways i am debating if i time to move on from my ex boyfriend. i really love him, but he doesn't love me. sometimes i feel like i'm selling my self short. not because he sucks or anything like that. just because he really doesn't care. Doesn't everyone deserve someone who cares???

8 babbling idiots

AND IF THEY DON'T DANCE... THEY'RE NO FRIENDS OF MINE. [09 May 2004|02:35pm]

[ mood | content ]

[ music | STEREOPHONICS I'M ALRIGHT ]

Today is good. there are a few things bothering me but once i post them i'lll feel better.
First... let me list the two things i hate the most
1). rich kid drug addicts
2). self proclaimed modern renaissance men/women
Secondly... i'm tired of boys. THEY SUCK. i have come to the realization that boys who appreciate good literature, music and the little things in life don't exist. well i've met a few guys who have, but they all have the " I'VE GOT TO IMPRESS MY FRIENDS" complex. well my friend tony doesn't suffer from "the complex" but i don't get to see him much.
I think i'm gonna go to san fran. at the end of this month go shopping. it should be good clean fun.
well i'm running out of thing to write about so i'm gonna go.

babbling idiots

SICK GIRL SHUT UP [01 May 2004|11:51am]

[ mood | anxious ]

[ music | SUZANNE VEGA LEFT OF CENTER ]

Well i saw the cure last night on leno. i like their new song a lot. i stayed up 'til 2 to see bright eyes in kimmel. then i went to sleep. i spent my time prior to the listing to joy division and talking heads. i made a mixed tape for some guy... then i threw it away. i talked to an old friend and i did homework.
i can now say that going vegan is totally out of the question. i am far too sickly already.
i want to go to lollapalloza this summer to see broken social scene, le tigre, the von bonies, sonic youth and some others... ALLIE do you wanna come with me???
Well i miss all of you... well those of you i actually hang out with. and i'm sorry i haven't been calling... i've been too sick. i hope to see all of you soon so exspect some phone calls... BYE

6 babbling idiots

Mmmmm Tofu sooooo YUMMY [27 Apr 2004|10:34am]

[ mood | annoyed ]

[ music | talking heads psycho killer ]

well yesterday i went to my standardized testing. it was kinda fun. i got to see some people i use to go to school with in like the 8th grade. i also did all my homework for the next two weeks.
i thought i'd go out this weekend, but it's going to be too hot for my me. i am extremely protein deficient and i am pretty sure that i go out in extreme heat i may faint. i want to go vegan, but i'm so sickly... i'd drop way to much weight if i cut dairy and egg products out of my diet.
anyways this person on lj is trying to start drama with me. i actually find it quite funny. someone who has met me once, maybe twice is talking shit. " name one song by all the bands on your user info page". it's like an emo spike. LOL. how can you go on and on about something or someone you don't even know about. my own friends don't even know me so it's impossible for this person to know me well enough to judge me.
and just for the record i don't want to be emo... i don't want to be labeled as anything. i believe that music is an extension of emotion... and for every emotion that plagues me ther is a genre of music that makes it all better.

10 babbling idiots

BLAH... BLAH... BLAH [21 Apr 2004|10:53am]

[ mood | awake ]

[ music | LIARS MR. YOU'RE ON FIRE MR. ]

Well i just went to see my P.O. he thinks my mom is crazy too. yay. anyways he wantsme to get emancipated ... which is cool. i didn't have to do a drug test, but i wouldn't care anyways... i don't do drugs. i'm pretty sure my P.O. was flirting with me... NASTY!!!
anyways, i am going to straighten my hair this weekend. and i only smoked 1 pack of cigarettes yesterday. i also got another stereophonics cd and a liars cd.
my mom told me i can move out anytime i want to, so as soon as i have neough money i'm gone.
i have now vowed not to wear make-up. WHY? it' false advertisement. if a guy wakes up next to you in the morning and you don't look the same as the person he fell asleep with... there's a problem. i also threw away my push up bras. for one thing i don't need the anymore. my boobs look better without the padding. and secondly... FALSE ADVERTISEMENT.
i talked to this guy charles on the phome last night... i was suppose to hang out with him last weekend and the suday before that... but i didn't. i'll get to it at one point or another.
i'm grounded for 2 weekends. waah. well i don't really care. unless everyone dies everything will be the same when i'm allowed to see sunlight again.
well i'm tired so i'm gonna go... bye

5 babbling idiots

navigation

[ viewing | most recent entries ]

[ go | earlier ]

Advertisement